Words to Ponder

Launey said I needed to update my blog so here it is. There has been major drama at our house lately. Not drama I would like to share publically but it has knocked the wind out of me enough to mention that I need a little extra prayer said for my family by you out there in bloggerland. I don't watch soap operas because a) they're stupid and unbelieveable and b) I HAVE ENOUGH DRAMA OF MY OWN!! Through it all I have had my AMAZING friends and extended family who have been at my house when I needed them just because I said I did. I feel so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.
I think we all go through things in our lives to bring us closer to Heavenly Father and evidently he thought I was too far away. I feel such peace in knowing I'm doing what is right for me and my little family but it's still hard to do. They never taught THIS in Young Women's that's for sure. I guess I should have read the fine print on the "going to Earth" document I signed because I don't think I really knew that this is what it would be like. My best friend always tells me "you can do today". And you know what. She's right.
So here are some of the thoughts that have kept me going lately (can't tell you who said all of them as I don't know). Please post some of your own favorites.
Hugs from here, E

To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

Evil multiplies by the response it seeks to provoke, and when I return evil for evil, I endanger corruption myself. The chain of evil is broken for good when a pure and living heart absorbs a hurt and forbears to hurt in return. Deep within every child of God, the light of Christ resides, guiding, comforting, and purifying the heart that turns to Him.-Dennis Rasmussen

To wish that you were someone else is to waste the person that you are.

Some lessons in life cannot be taught. They must be lived to be understood.

If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently.

When we look at a statue of someone great, we think they've got something we don't. We are trained to think that only a tiny percetage of us have the stuff it takes to become a hero. Not many of us will cure any diseases or slay any dragons, but every single one of us, EVERY single one of us is called to be a king, a queen, a hero in our ordinary lives. We don't build statues to worship the exceptional life. We build them to remind ourselves what is possible IN OUR OWN.

PLEASE READ THIS!

Noah Biorkman is a 5 year old boy who is in the last stages of neuroblastoma cancer after a 2 1/2 year battle. His family is celebrating Christmas this week and all he wants is Christmas cards. Let's try and see how many we can get to him from all over the world.

His address is :

Noah Biorkman

c/o 99.5 WYCD 2201

Woodward Heights Blvd.

Ferndale, MI

48220-1511

Please repost this to help spread the word about Noah! I chose to as he is the same age as my son and depending on the luck of the draw this could have been us.

Thanks!

Slow down

It's been a whirlwind of a day. There have been many of those since Josh started Kindergarten and I went back to work (only 2 days a week-how can 2 days a week make me stressed?) I feel like I don't stop. I don't stop to eat or I eat standing up, barely stop to sleep. Because who has time for those things? I have a to do list a mile long that never gets done. I'm trying to remember a time when these things didn't matter to me. I cleaned when things got dirty, sat when the house was messy, went out to play without a thought as to how it would affect the next day's schedule. It's not til the kids are in bed that I feel like I can breathe because I only have my energy to deal with-not theirs. Go go go. I just want to SLOW DOWN. Enjoy life. Do the things that matter not waste all my time on the things that don't. Click here .I want to color pictures with Josh and stack blocks with Caitie. Honor those little people in my life because they are the most precious, sweet kids. Balance is always easier to find when I get enough sleep too ;)

So today once I'd thrown in a load of laundry, changed Caitlyn's sheets, fed the kids breakfast, got them both dressed, attempted to clean the kitchen, went to the gym, packed Josh's bag for school, fed them lunch, got him off to school, got her down for a nap, I sat. I sat and read Elder Holland's article from the September Ensign. I made time for something that REALLY mattered. (It's an amazing article-go back and read it if you didn't get a chance in Sept-like I didn't) There are so many things we HAVE to do in a day that it felt good to do something I didn't have to do but should do. In Sunday School, our teacher mentioned that the Ensign was modern revalation for our time and we should keep it by our bedside with our scriptures to refer to. Especially the conference issue-to keep it there until the next conference 6 months down the road. I'd never really thought about the Ensign that way before. Last November I read the conference issue cover to cover and it was amazing-first time I'd done that. I'm going to do that again when it comes this time. I love to read and I read quite quickly so it's very relaxing to me. It seems like there is always an article that I come across at just the right time to help me with something I've been struggling with-even if I've already glanced through the Ensign before-something new will often stand out.


Then tonight we had Family Home Evening. Which lasted all of 5 minutes due to 2 small kids but we did it. I tend to be super type A in that I have an idea in my head of how things should go and if they aren't living up to that ideal than I just don't do them. Heaven forbid it should be less than perfect. Sheesh. However, I'm really trying to focus on the things that matter so I grabbed the Friend and found an article about temples. We talked about the temple because Joe and I were sealed together for eternity on October 19, 2002-7 years ago today. He didn't remember that but I always do. I hope my children will value the sacredness of the temple as I do. I love the temple and can't wait til we get a temple here in Calgary.


And I slowed down enough to sit here and get my feelings out so I could be a calmer Mommy. Stuck on relaxing music and just typed. I met a lot of my goals today and I think if I can just DO instead of thinking about doing-we can have more days focused on the things that matter in the long run.

Bits and Pieces

Now that it's October I feel like fall is officially here. September is always such a crazy month with kids back in school-it sort of feels like that should be the beginning of the year instead of January. It was a new beginning for our family this year with Joshua starting Kindergarten. He is attending a bilingual Spanish school where 30% of their studies are taught in Spanish. This is him before we left to take him on his very first day. It's the first time I've left him with someone where I don't know anything about them, other than their name, and it was a bit scary at first. Josh has already been teaching us some Spanish words and I can't believe how much he has learned in such a short time. Ever since he started school though he thinks everything is "awesome". He must say it at least 10 times a day. The only thing he doesn't like about school is how much it cuts into his time outside playing with his friends. It'll be interesting when he has to be there all day next year! Funny Josh statement of late "That mountain is bigger than my appetite". Where do they come up with this stuff?

















First day on the school bus

I find with me being back to work 2 days a week I feel like I'm in constant motion. There is always something that needs my attention. And if I do choose to stop for a bit than things pile up twice as fast. I don't know if that's just typical of a mom with 2 very active children or if the ratio of cleaners to mess makers (1:4) in our house just means there will be more demands on my time for a looooooong time to come. I really don't like how it makes me feel. I feel like I'm just keeping up with the basics and the things I'd really like to be focusing on are falling by the wayside. For example, I can't remember the last time I took the kids to the park. My dad said the other day "Do you prioritize the things you have to do?" Ummm-yeah-basic kid needs come first followed immediately by household needs and husband needs are after that. My needs get addressed once everyone is in bed or occupied on the computer (ie.Joe). Soooo any tips from bloggerville on how you keep life in balance with work, family etc would be greatly appreciated!!
Here's Miss Cate (Age-14 1/2 mths)after her cousin's baby blessing this past Sunday. She seems to always have bruises or cuts on her face from running faster than her little feet can keep up and crashing into things. (hmmm maybe she gets that constant forward motion from me?) She is saying more and more words as the days go by and she loves to organize things into little groups (both my kids have severe Type A tendancies already) and stack blocks etc. It makes me miss the baby stage a bit but not enough to add another kidlet to the craziness yet. (sorry Launey) I just adore her.

Sorry for the bits and pieces but it's all I've got tonight. We have a little plaque on our mantel that says " We may not have it all together but together we have it all". That pretty much sums it up for this past month ;>

Summer Update

I know I know-it's been a long time since I blogged. I just deleted 2 posts I'd started-one back in June and one from July. Started but not finished and now they are a bit redundant so here's to hoping I get this one finished!
We have had an eventful few months. Josh graduated from preschool in June and Mom, Leah and Joey were all able to come for the ceremony.

He starts kindergarten on Thursday and we're counting down the days til he gets to go. I'm a bit apprehensive because he has to take the bus and he seems so little for that. I worry that he will run across the road and get hit by an oncoming car as he doesn't really think much before he explodes into action. Must get that from his dad. Or it could just be the age. At any rate, Bubba (Graham) gave him a grandfather's blessing to start the school year and mentioned the whole safety/bus issue so I feel a bit better now. He seems like he's gotten so much taller this summer and he's definately ready for more to keep him busy than this mother can provide!

I went back to work in July just 2 days a week-Tues/Wed. It's a nice balance but if I had my choice, I'd be home full time, especially with Josh in PM kindergarten. Patients say to me "oh that's a nice balance and then you get adult conversation" etc etc. I just think-yeah and I get to drag my 2 kids out of bed one morning a week at 6:30 am to get us all where we need to be on time. It's IS good for me though because I really appreciate when I AM home with them. And truth be told, having a half hour lunch break (the days I actually get it) ,with no interruptions, is a treat. Just to sit and read in peace with only myself to worry about. I'm big on reading (which means I'm a TRUE Spackman underneath all the expressiveness). Our goal as a family is to get me at home full time but this fills in til then. It's nothing compared to working full time let me tell you. (I went back 4 days a week when Josh was 10 months old) Looking back at this past year, I can see that it everything happened for a reason and that reason was so that I COULD stay home as much as I'm able to now. If certain things hadn't gone through, I wouldn't have had the choice and would have had to work full time. So I'm very grateful for that.

Here's Caitlyn at her first birthday party on July 14th! Blame my crazy mother for the wild hat (which I loved). We had most of the immediate family there which is getting to be quite a crew. Launey made Caitlyn a GIANT cupcake for her birthday cake. Those of you who know me well know that cooking/baking is not the area that I find I want to spend my *ahem* best efforts. Mostly because my best efforts tend to look like someone else's just didn't give a darn. So Auntie made the wonderful cake (my slightly wild hat goes off to her) Caitlyn seemed to have a great time and everyone left stuffed and with ears ringing from all the little ones.

The weeked after Caitlyn's birthday party we were off to Summerland, B.C. to "camp" ( a term loosely used in this case) for a week. Flushing toilets and electricity are always my idea of roughing it and this year we were able to rent a fifth wheel to stay in that had AIR CONDITIONING. Another plus being the whole campground was blissfully unaware when said 1 year old wouldn't stop screaming. Didn't happen often but often enough to be worth the money we forked out for the luxury. Ususally I find my time in Summerland to be slightly surreal and calming but this time I didn't have as relaxing a time either because a) I'm not working more than 2 days a week which means I'm not as frazzled as I have been in the past by the time we get out there, b) vacations with anyone under the age of 3 years of age are not true vacations for the parent EVER , c) Joe had to come home for work for a few of the days we were out there so I was on alert most of the time with one or both kids or d) we only had 1 week instead of 2 weeks out there. Regardless, we came home tanned and wishing we had more time out there (again something we say every year). We're booked for 2 weeks next year and already have our trailer booked. Anyone that wants to join us is welcome!

This is how the rest of our summer was spent:

• spray park at Prairie winds



• Calaway Park



• Calgary Zoo



• Sea Dooing at Sylvan lake with family from out of town



• hanging in the backyard with our "pool"

I have loved being able to spend so much time with the kids and Joe this summer. Summer is my favorite time of year. I'd love to move somewhere where flip flops are worn year round and winter jackets are a thing of the past. Maybe one day.

I have decided to recommit myself spiritually. Not that I've been doing anything that would put me on the naughty list but that I have been apathetic about my spiritual growth. My family cannot afford for me to be apathetic about my spiritual growth right now and I know it's Satan's way of trying to wear me down and wear me out so that I'm not where I need to be when things happen. Thursday I was able to attend the temple with my mom and my best friend for the first time since I've had Caitlyn. I know I need to get there more often.

So here's to August resolutions of being smarter about how my time is being spent and focusing on the things that matter. Hope your summers were spent in ways that make you happy and I can't wait for new beginnings for fall!!!

Humbled

I was introduced to the NieNie blog by my best friend and have been devouring it's content the past two nights (click button on my sidebar for more). This amazing woman has been to hell and back and is continuing to inspire people all over the world with her testimony of faith and motherhood. She is someone who I wish I knew in person but I am just grateful that I was able to read of her journey and that it reminded me that I can get through what I am going through if I stick close to my Heavenly Father. For more on that click here

NieNie is the kind of mother I would like to be but am not. I want to be more connected to my children and have FUN with them. Just enjoy them while I can and while they want to be around me. Thank goodness for wake up calls.

My beautiful son Joshua Graham is 5 years old today. This picture was taken when he was 3 months old and you can see he already had that twinkle in his eye. He was 7 weeks premature and we joke that he couldn't wait to come to earth any longer. He has an enthusiasm for life matched by few and has never been the type of kid to fall asleep in the middle of anything. To sleep he must be PUT to bed (and then KEPT there)! He is amazingly empathetic, a quality I hope he keeps throughout his life. He is quick to give hugs and quick to forgive faults. He loves to meet new people and especially loves his best friend Isabella. He continues to love all things Halloween-witches, pumpkins, skeletons, etc and will sign his name JOSHW for Joshua "witch".

His preschool teacher asked me the other day which church we went to and I told her we attended the Mormon church. She told me the reason she was asking was because one day she was writing down things that made each child special and she asked Joshua what made him special. He told her " I am a Child of God". It brought tears to my eyes that he already has that testimony in his heart. I have loved watching him grow and develop and can't wait to see what the next 5 years bring. I love you son.

Disconnected

I've been feeling blah lately. Life is a bit monotonous and I just can't get motivated. I open my eyes in the morning and listen to Caitlyn crying (because she always seems to WAKE me up instead of me already being up) and think-great-another day to get through.
And I'm not sure if it's just that this has been a long winter and now they're saying possibly snow flurries on Monday. Really. It's May people.
Or if it's that I'm still nursing but have a plan to get small child off the boob at least throughout the day so I can go back to work in a month and a half. Just have to implement this plan. Hmmm. Advice oh wise bloggers?
Or if it's the fact that I'm going back to work (2 days only 2 days I can do 2 days) in a month and a half and someone else (my MIL) will get to experience my children and take care of their needs when I want to be the one doing it.
Though sometimes I don't.
Or that my hormones are on the rampage from above mentioned small child.
Or that I am well versed in the concept of the run on sentence. Sorry.
SERIOUSLY. NEED. PEACE.
Or possibly just to get out of the house a bit more. Who knows. Not me obviously. But because of all the changes that seem to be looming on the horizon I'm trying not to freak out. Trying to maintain some semblance of order around this crazy house so that even if the inside of me is in turmoil at least my environment can be calming.
I want to feel some sort of passion and excitement for something but don't. Which is why my son's birthday party is going to be LOW KEY. Again. For some reason I freeze when it comes to planning things. Queen procrastinator. I think that's what they'll put on my tombstone. I admire those who have cute kids parties but somehow eliminate myself from that category on purpose. Why can't I just get it together already. ARGH! I'm hoping that venting will help and that someone out there in bloggerland will have some advice for me that helps me get back in the race. Cuz let me tell you people-it's a bit boring sitting on the sidelines.

Countdown

Hello fabulous people. I know you're thrilled to hear from me ;> I was talking about my maternity leave ending the other day and counted the weeks left. 7 to go. Only 7. That's okay-I can handle it. I just sort of thought that day would never come. It was always far in the future. I'm a bit excited and I'm only going back 2 days a week soooo it will be fine. I'm one of those freaky people who are more productive the more they have to do so hooray for that. Less of a cheer for having to wake up to an alarm again. Blech. Hooray for scheduled lunch breaks and witty comments from Launey (which I HAVE missed)!

I read other people's blogs and wish I were as clever as them but I'm just me. It's not like I'm forcing you to read the details of my mostly mundane life, right? I had a great Mother's Day weekend. Lots of family which I love. It was the first Mother's Day I could say I have a daughter. I love that little girl.

Joe and I took the kids to the zoo on Monday and we all had a great time. Finally the weather was nice enough to actually be able to enjoy being outside.

Koala Caitlyn

Koala Josh

Here's to making the most of these last few weeks.

Wedding Memories

1) What was your wedding date? February 24, 2001
2) How long from "I will" to "I Do" 5 months-I think. I can't remember if we got engaged in Sept or Oct.
3) Where were you married? The Institute (Not for crazy people-that came later ;> )
4) What were your wedding colours? Periwinkle and Silver
5) Who was in your wedding party? I had 2 close friends (that ironically I don't speak to now)and Joe had Mike Bourne and Rob O'Bray
6) Honestly, could your bridesmaids REALLY have worn the dress again? No
7) Did you LOVE your gown? Would you choose the same gown again? I LOVED my gown but would probably pick something different if I got married today. I still like the basic style but would go with something more elegant.
8) Flowers: Real or Silk? Real-my mom picked them out and they were gorgeous.
9) Reception: Full meal or Calling reception? Full meal after the ceremony and calling reception later that night
10) Dance or no dance? I think some dancing occured but we split fairly quickly afterwards
11) What would you have done differently? The wedding we had worked for us at the time but I would have preferred to have gotten married in the temple. Something a bit simpler maybe.
12) Any disasters? I didn't book enough time for hair and makeup before the ceremony started and there was a blizzard so we ended up starting about a half hour late.
13) Best Gift you received? Cash. I'm not the most sentimental person. My grandparents gave us a vaccum. Honestly-I can't remember anything that stands out especially.
14) Strangest gift you received? No comment
15) Most Memorable moment that day? My father in law giving me a hug after the ceremony and getting all teary. Those who know my husband well will know why. Also my dad leaning in the car window as we were about to drive off to our hotel that evening and telling Joe to take care of his little girl. Aww. I AM his only daughter.
Now feel free to post pictures for any or ALL of the questions, but post your favorite picture from your wedding at least!I don't care if you are married, separated, divorced, whatever! Join in!
Just to add a bit more-The older I get the more I realize how much I took for granted with how smoothly my wedding day went and all that was involved. I have to say a special public thank you to my mother who spent SO much time planning and shopping for my wedding while my family had just gone through a house fire November of 2000 and were in a rental home. She made it a beautiful day with every last detail just right for me. Thanks Mom. You're amazing and I love you.

I got nothing!

Which is why it's been so long since my last post. Nothing new here. Kids getting bigger and louder. Spring may finally have shown its face for good. General Conference was great~loved Elder Holland's talk especially.

I've been working out miminum 3 times a week for the past 6 weeks and haven't lost a single pound. Darn baby weight. I have some really cute summer clothes that I'd like to wear-mostly because I have zero money to go buy more clothes. Sort of hoping that when I stop nursing this last 10 pounds will just fall off. Weight will do that right? Just sort of....disappear? Though I am definately feeling more toned. I'm slightly freaky in that I love to workout. Which is a good thing because I love to eat too. SIL has signed us up for a 10K in Sept. I've never run any race and would love any advice from bloggerland. Hopefully that will help with the weight loss too. Runners seem to have great bodies. And bad knees.....yikes. Already got those.

I find when women have kids it generally takes them a year to get back to caring about how they look. Since having Caitlyn, I have gone out in public looking the worst I've looked my whole life and generally not caring. Because really. No one notices. The checkout girl could care less if my hair is done or if I have makeup on. And when you're running on 2 hours of sleep, vanity is the last thing on your mind. But I'm starting to come out of my mommy stupor and want to look semi presentable again. Hence the working out and wanting to get my hair cut into some sort of style again. Not just throwing it in a ponytail.

Have felt shocked by some recent news. Sad news. I hate news that hits you in the gut and makes your world tilt on its axis for a while. Keeps you humble and keeps you wanting to do better I guess. I had a cousin pass away 3 years ago this July who was very young and I think of her often and how I can't waste my life because you just never know when life as you know it will change forever. I've been enjoying my basically drama free time for these past few months. Here's to hoping that will continue.

Some pics of the kiddies from March-they loved the zoo!

LOVE THIS!

I'm reading a book that Alison gave me for Christmas called "Toss the Guilt and Catch the Joy" by Merrilee Boyack. I'm only in Chapter 2 and already LOVE it. Two things really struck me. The first was a quote by Merrill Christensen who was speaking at a devotional at BYU about the truth behind comparisons.

He said " If we are content to simply be better than the world, comparing ourselves to its standards and practices instead of to the Lord's, we may pride ourselves on the widening gap between us and the world....At the same time [we are] dangerously oblivious to the increasing distance between us and the standards of righteousness we have covenanted to keep...
(This is my favorite part) Your value to Him is independent of your body mass index; your accomplishments in arts, academics, or athletics; your possessions, popularity, or marital status; your current calling in the Church; or any other thing that can be a source of comparison and competition. "

She goes on to quote C.S. Lewis a bit further in " Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man....It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition is gone, pride has gone."

Couples Survey

1. What are your middle names? Joseph Aaron and Erica Jayne.
2. How long have you been together? We'll have been married for 8 years on Feb 24th but we've been together for 9. Miracles do happen.
3. Do you have any children together? Yep. Joshua and Caitlyn.
4. What about pets? No. We will get a pet when we a)own our own home and b) one of the kids is old enough to take care of it. However I also said I wouldn't get married til we were out of debt. HAHA.
5. Did you go to the same school? No-if we had we probably wouldn't have gotten married.
6. Are you from the same home town? Yes.
7. Do you live in the same town now? Um yeah, we're married. Oh wait. Yes we do. LOL.
8. Who is the smartest? Yikes. I like to THINK I'm smarter. Does that count? I'm less impulsive...
9. Who is the most sensitive? Him-hands down but he doesn't always show it.
10. Where is the first place you went to eat as a couple? Probably Denny's.
11. Do you wear matching clothes? Always. Or we don't leave the house. LOL. NO. As long as they're clean we're good.
12. Where is the farthest you have traveled as a couple? To hell and back. Oh-on earth. Hmmmm-Hawaii.
13. Who has the craziest exes? I'm sure it's Joe. ;>
14. Who has the worst temper? Joe but I come in a really close second. I'm a door slammer. He's a well-we won't go there in the interest of time.
15. Who does the cooking? I usually do when cooking actually does go on but he SHOULD. He makes way better meals than I do and they always taste amazing.
16. Who's more social? I am with everyone. It's a tie if it's people we both know well. People that don't know Joe think he's quiet. LMBO.
17. Who is the neat freak? Me-Mrs Type A. But I can let things slide a lot when I'm super busy or completely sleep deprived.
18.Who is the most affectionate? We both are. Physical touch is very important-we're cuddlers
19. Who is the most stubborn? He is now. I've mellowed after 9 years and 2 kids. Plus I'm the one answering this survey so I can put what I want. We're both eldest children though if that paints any sort of picture for you.
20. Who wakes up earlier? On average-me.
21.Where was your first date? Dec 26,1999 at the Bournes to watch movies with a majority of his extended family.
22.Who said I love you first? I think it was him but he says me.
23.How did you spend your 1st year anniversary? HAWAII. Which turned into a bit of a mess but was completely worth it because I don't see us getting back there anytime soon.
24. Who has the bigger family? Parents and siblings-me. Extended beyond that-probably a tie
25. Who is younger? Joe by 11 months and he always likes to bug me about it
26. Who is the life of the party? Depends who we're with but we're both pretty expressive
27. Who do you hope your kids turn out more like? I hope they get the best of both of us
28. Who wears the pants in the family? I like to think I do. He'll put his foot down when he feels strongly about something.
29. Whats your favorite thing to do together? We love to read or watch movies together while eating our treats. Which is why our waistlines are expanding :>
30. Do you have the same political views? Pretty much. Neither of us is really passionate about politics. We ARE Canadians....
31. Who has the most stuff? Me, hands down
32. Who controls the remote? We like to watch the same shows but he likes to hold the remote. It's a comfort thing.
33. Who does the driving? We alternate. If it's a road trip he can't relax if I'm at the wheel though.
34. Who takes out the garbage? Supposedly him
35. Who does the cleaning? I do the most but he'll help out if he's told what to do and it doesn't have to be done right that minute
36. Who does the laundry? ME. I love laundry.
37. Who is the funniest? He says he is by far. LOL. I typed it to make him happy. Marriage IS about compromise :>

Just average

So glad January is over. It's my least favorite month. Bad things tend to happen in my life in January. It's just such a gloomy month. When I grow up, I will always vacation in January to avoid the dreary monotony. Though I don't have that travel bug that people talk about. It just has never bitten me. I like to go places but prefer to be home in my own bed in my own house for the most part. I lead an average life. And I'm okay with average. I don't really aspire to much other than leading MY best life, but I'm fine with not being the best AT something. I'll leave that up to the pros out there. However, one thing that I have created in my life that is FAR above average are my amazing children. And to me, that is what matters most.

Grow Up Already

What age is too old to be living with your parents? And not working, eating their food, not doing anything to help around the house and not paying rent? It amazes me that society has created this generation of kids that mooch off their parents and that their parents tolerate it. It drives me ABSOLUTELY bonkers. Wouldn't we all like to be Peter Pan and never grow up and sleep til whenever we felt like getting up and be surrounded by nice things that we didn't have to sacrifice and work our butts off for. My goal as a parent is to raise adults-not have adult children taking advantage of my love for them by contributing nothing to our family or society. It's one thing to have a child come to you if they're in a bad situation and ask if they can move in for a while and set ground rules both sides can live with. It's completely another to have said child assume that they can always crash at their parents home with no regard for other family members and treat them like crap. No accountability. No accountability=no responsibility.
A woman I know has a 17 year old that has dropped out of high school, is completely addicted to drugs and sleeps til whenever she wants. And this woman says to me " What can I do about it?" What the hell do you mean what can you do about it? Don't let her back in! Tell her to get a job and move out. HELLO. My parents booted me out of the house the summer I was 17 and I lived on the streets or crashed with friends and believe me-you quickly realize that maybe living at home and following the rules isn't so bad. I get that there is no quick fix for every situation but more often than not, these kids are being completely enabled by their parents. There's a book called "The Parenting Breakthrough" that I LOVE as it guides you on how to teach children to do things for themselves. Wow. What a concept. Working for things and earning your way in life. How are things in the world going to improve when kids have this sense of entitlement?
And while I'm on this rant. I've been noticing another fabulous trend in the world. Men not being men. Not working to support their families, spending obscene amount of time on the computer and not with their kids, opting out of marriages that aren't convenient enough for them. I could go on and on about this one as well. Ironically, a lot of these men have been raised by really hardworking fathers. Grow up already. Part of being an adult and choosing to have a family is doing things when they don't happen to be convenient for you at that time. That's just life. Whatever happened to the MAN. The one who gets up in the morning and goes to a job he hates because he needs to pay the bills. Who is up through the night with sick kids? Who cherishes his spouse above all others including those in magazines and online? Where are THOSE men? If you have a man like that count yourself lucky. I'm not here to man bash and I get that there are women out there who slack in their roles as well. I just SO appreciate the get it done, motivated, kind, honest, loyal, hardworking man. That's way more attractive to me then good looks and a hard body. So for all you guys out there that are committed to fulfilling the role of a good man to the best of your ability my hat goes off to you. And for those of you out there that aren't, I challenge you to step up to the plate and be a bit better.

To sleep, perchance to dream......

Or just simply to sleep. I miss sleeping. I miss sleeping and waking up ALL ON MY OWN. Not to a crying, hungry baby or a little boy who is trying to crawl into my bed for the third time that night. I am sleep deprived to the point that I left the wrong home phone number on my VTing companion's answering machine. Sigh. I'd be such a great mommy if I could just sleep for longer than 3 hours at a time. And I'd probably care what my hair looks like and how messy my house is.... Launey said today that I needed to update my blog. Frankly all I care about lately is the next time I can lay down and rest for a bit. From the minute I get up I'm looking forward to bedtime. Since this is my life right now-this is what I'm choosing to blog about.
Caitlyn has been moving backwards in her sleeping habits and has been nursing every 3 hrs with the occasional 4 hour stint. What the heck is that all about. Well-she's getting over a cold, often has bright red teething cheeks, has had absolutely NO real schedule to speak of during the past 2 weeks, and is probably on a growth spurt. Any advice on how to get a nursing baby to sleep through the night with all of that thrown into the mix? I'm always playing the what if game in my head when she's crying in her room. What if she's got the blanket over her head? What if she's poopy/wet/starving/too hot/too cold/too tired/not tired enough?????? If only babies could talk this whole situation would be dramatically improved.
She just woke up again and is crying right now. Argh. Passed off to daddy only to have the crying continue. Then I went into our room and Josh is passed out under the covers. Why am I the only one in this family that wants to sleep in my own bed?
Sorry this isn't very entertaining or enlightening but frankly I'm too tired to care about that either. Oh and did I mention that Caitlyn has a piercing scream. Like if the neighbours could hear her I'm sure they'd think I was beating her repeatedly. So I try to let her self soothe in the night only to hear the scream. Which if allowed to contines, wakes everyone up. So I pick her up and nurse her out of self preservation. And the cycle continues.
I think when I'm old I'll move in with her and scream randomly through the night. See-these are the evil mommy thoughts that go through my head when I'm tired. Okay-enough venting. Comment away.