Sunday, May 24, 2009

Humbled

I was introduced to the NieNie blog by my best friend and have been devouring it's content the past two nights (click button on my sidebar for more). This amazing woman has been to hell and back and is continuing to inspire people all over the world with her testimony of faith and motherhood. She is someone who I wish I knew in person but I am just grateful that I was able to read of her journey and that it reminded me that I can get through what I am going through if I stick close to my Heavenly Father. For more on that click here
NieNie is the kind of mother I would like to be but am not. I want to be more connected to my children and have FUN with them. Just enjoy them while I can and while they want to be around me. Thank goodness for wake up calls.

My beautiful son Joshua Graham is 5 years old today. This picture was taken when he was 3 months old and you can see he already had that twinkle in his eye. He was 7 weeks premature and we joke that he couldn't wait to come to earth any longer. He has an enthusiasm for life matched by few and has never been the type of kid to fall asleep in the middle of anything. To sleep he must be PUT to bed (and then KEPT there)! He is amazingly empathetic, a quality I hope he keeps throughout his life. He is quick to give hugs and quick to forgive faults. He loves to meet new people and especially loves his best friend Isabella. He continues to love all things Halloween-witches, pumpkins, skeletons, etc and will sign his name JOSHW for Joshua "witch".

His preschool teacher asked me the other day which church we went to and I told her we attended the Mormon church. She told me the reason she was asking was because one day she was writing down things that made each child special and she asked Joshua what made him special. He told her " I am a Child of God". It brought tears to my eyes that he already has that testimony in his heart. I have loved watching him grow and develop and can't wait to see what the next 5 years bring. I love you son.






Friday, May 15, 2009

Disconnected

I've been feeling blah lately. Life is a bit monotonous and I just can't get motivated. I open my eyes in the morning and listen to Caitlyn crying (because she always seems to WAKE me up instead of me already being up) and think-great-another day to get through.
And I'm not sure if it's just that this has been a long winter and now they're saying possibly snow flurries on Monday. Really. It's May people.
Or if it's that I'm still nursing but have a plan to get small child off the boob at least throughout the day so I can go back to work in a month and a half. Just have to implement this plan. Hmmm. Advice oh wise bloggers?
Or if it's the fact that I'm going back to work (2 days only 2 days I can do 2 days) in a month and a half and someone else (my MIL) will get to experience my children and take care of their needs when I want to be the one doing it.
Though sometimes I don't.
Or that my hormones are on the rampage from above mentioned small child.
Or that I am well versed in the concept of the run on sentence. Sorry.
SERIOUSLY. NEED. PEACE.
Or possibly just to get out of the house a bit more. Who knows. Not me obviously. But because of all the changes that seem to be looming on the horizon I'm trying not to freak out. Trying to maintain some semblance of order around this crazy house so that even if the inside of me is in turmoil at least my environment can be calming.
I want to feel some sort of passion and excitement for something but don't. Which is why my son's birthday party is going to be LOW KEY. Again. For some reason I freeze when it comes to planning things. Queen procrastinator. I think that's what they'll put on my tombstone. I admire those who have cute kids parties but somehow eliminate myself from that category on purpose. Why can't I just get it together already. ARGH! I'm hoping that venting will help and that someone out there in bloggerland will have some advice for me that helps me get back in the race. Cuz let me tell you people-it's a bit boring sitting on the sidelines.

Monday, May 11, 2009

Countdown

Hello fabulous people. I know you're thrilled to hear from me ;> I was talking about my maternity leave ending the other day and counted the weeks left. 7 to go. Only 7. That's okay-I can handle it. I just sort of thought that day would never come. It was always far in the future. I'm a bit excited and I'm only going back 2 days a week soooo it will be fine. I'm one of those freaky people who are more productive the more they have to do so hooray for that. Less of a cheer for having to wake up to an alarm again. Blech. Hooray for scheduled lunch breaks and witty comments from Launey (which I HAVE missed)!

I read other people's blogs and wish I were as clever as them but I'm just me. It's not like I'm forcing you to read the details of my mostly mundane life, right? I had a great Mother's Day weekend. Lots of family which I love. It was the first Mother's Day I could say I have a daughter. I love that little girl.



Joe and I took the kids to the zoo on Monday and we all had a great time. Finally the weather was nice enough to actually be able to enjoy being outside.

Koala Caitlyn




Koala Josh

Here's to making the most of these last few weeks.