Sunday, June 22, 2008

Things I've noticed

It's now been 2 weeks since I've been off work and I've noticed a couple of things about myself. Some good, some bad.
1. When I have no solid time to get up in the morning, I have a much harder time winding down at night and getting into bed at a reasonable hour. Which means I'm generally not in bed before midnight. It's actually quite liberating. LOL.
2. It's infinately more pleasant to wake up to my son's smiling face beside my bed telling me it's time to get up than a blaring alarm clock-no matter what time that happens to be.
3. I'm more of a perfectionist than I thought I was. The longer I'm at home the more I realize that there are definately things I like done a certain way when it comes to the housework.
4. The more I'm home, the more I nag my husband. Poor guy.
5. I'm slightly laundry obsessed. Ok more than slightly.It's that instant gratification thing-what once was dirty is now clean and back where it belongs. If only life were so simple.
6. The amount of time it takes me to lose my temper with Josh is DIRECTLY related to the amount of sleep I have had. Period. For some reason I have not realized this concept til now.
7. More time home does not (unfortunately for my family) equal more home cooked meals. I just don't like to do it. If any of you want to swap home cooked meals for housework-let me know.
8. It's really nice not to deal with other people's crap all day and only have to worry about what goes on here. Quite selfish of me isn't it?
9. The more I'm around Josh the more I want to be around him and miss him when we're apart.
10. The same cannot be said for my husband.
11. The more time I have to do things, the less gets done. If you want something done, ask a busy person (and probably not one who is 8 months pregnant)
12. More available time doesn't mean I spend more time on my spiritual self-see #11
13. More available time also doesn't mean I'm any more on time for things than before (I know Mandy-I have NO excuses!!)
14. I spend more time blog hopping now than I ever did before~not sure why I care about some random stranger's pictures of their 2 year olds birthday. I think I need to buy a timer to go beside the computer and set some sort of limit to this
All in all, I realized I really do enjoy not working outside the home but sometimes miss the feeling of importance I got from being "SO" busy. I do like not having to hand Josh off to so many different people and just be able to take care of him myself. It's nice to focus on quality time with Josh before this baby makes an appearance. Only 2 things about pregancy are bothering my lately. 1.Trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in at night. I have never used this many pillows for sleeping in my life! 2. Acid reflux. Yuck. 1 month to go...

Monday, June 9, 2008

Last Day of Work

Friday, June 6th was my official last day of work. On Thursday, the girls booked fake patients for an hour so we could close down and celebrate with Thai food (thanks Boss!) and homemade strawberry cheesecake (Thanks Joi!!). The office also got me a $100 gift certificate for Riverside spa which I will make very good use of! I've been so lucky to work there for 11 1/2 years and I'll really miss some of our patients and the social interaction aspect of it. I definately WON'T miss getting up at 5 :45 am 3 days a week to get myself and Josh out the door, him at day home, and me at work by 7:30 am. In fact it was quite blissful to look at my alarm clock this morning at 7:15, smile, and proceed to go back to sleep til 9. Plus I'm still getting paid for this month as I had holidays saved up.
I took Josh to Prairie Winds park for 1 1/2 hrs this afternoon and it was so nice not to feel like we were rushed or have my mind racing about what we needed to get done. We just stayed til we were all played out. I took him to the bottle depot and he kept scrunching up his face and saying "It smells in here". Yeah-can you imagine working in that smell for 8 hours? As we got in the car I said-that's why you need to get an education so you have the option of NOT working in that smell. So I'm officially a stay at home Mom and now only have one job to contend with. We'll see how long it takes for the novelty to wear off-if it ever does.

Tuesday, June 3, 2008

Turning Point

Today is officially the most pregnant I have ever been. I'm not sure what to expect from here on out but people keep telling me that I'm just going to be getting bigger. Yeah-thanks for reminding me. Not sure how that is going to happen as the skin on my belly feels as stretched as it can be but there's no turning back now. Funny how when you're pregnant everyone is allowed to comment on your weight but how would someone feel if I walked up to them and said-Woah-you're so much bigger than the last time I saw you. LOL. At least I'm fat with purpose. It's slightly odd to that I don't really even care about the weight-it just means baby is growing like they're supposed to.

I'm SO excited to meet this new little person. I don't care if it's a boy or a girl-just the fact that we get to add another little one to our family. There was a time that I wasn't sure it would happen between all the drama of the past few years. It's feels sort of cavalier to say God has a plan but when that plan and my plan aren't meshing, it's hard to try to figure out exactly which curveball to dodge sometimes. And then my plan and his do mesh the very same month that I think-if I'm not pregnant this just isn't meant to be and we're going to stop trying. All signs point to this NOT being a great idea from every logical perspective. Luckily He anticipated this line of thinking and voila-positive sign on the test. Plus is there REALLY anything logical about having kids. Oh yes-please sign me up for gaining at least 30 pounds while being violently ill every other day, then going through the valley of death to take home a crying, pooping, demanding bundle to whom I am a slave to their every need. And that's just the beginning. And once you do it you'd never go back. In fact you volunteer to do it again-thank heaven for selective memory-labour wasn't really THAT bad, right?

Josh came early because I was leaking amniotic fluid for a few weeks. No leakage yet this time other than from these growths that used to be my petite B cup lovelies. Not so lovely now. TMI I know but it's my blog. Evidently I was a cow in a former life. (No comments please) I saw my MD Friday and she mentioned sending me for an ultrasound to check my fluid....until she felt my belly. Definately LOTS of fluid this time. And so we venture into the unknown. Wish we luck.

Despite the joking I've been thinking a lot lately about people I know who for one reason or another haven't been able to have kids. Though I can't say I understand how that would feel, my heart goes out to them. However, I do know what it feels like to want one thing so badly you'd give up almost anything to get it. We are all blessed in different aspects of our lives at different times of our lives and it's easy to look at others and think they have everything they want exactly when they want it. If only we could see their reality I'm sure we would think differently.