Monday, October 19, 2009

Slow down

It's been a whirlwind of a day. There have been many of those since Josh started Kindergarten and I went back to work (only 2 days a week-how can 2 days a week make me stressed?) I feel like I don't stop. I don't stop to eat or I eat standing up, barely stop to sleep. Because who has time for those things? I have a to do list a mile long that never gets done. I'm trying to remember a time when these things didn't matter to me. I cleaned when things got dirty, sat when the house was messy, went out to play without a thought as to how it would affect the next day's schedule. It's not til the kids are in bed that I feel like I can breathe because I only have my energy to deal with-not theirs. Go go go. I just want to SLOW DOWN. Enjoy life. Do the things that matter not waste all my time on the things that don't. Click here .I want to color pictures with Josh and stack blocks with Caitie. Honor those little people in my life because they are the most precious, sweet kids. Balance is always easier to find when I get enough sleep too ;)

So today once I'd thrown in a load of laundry, changed Caitlyn's sheets, fed the kids breakfast, got them both dressed, attempted to clean the kitchen, went to the gym, packed Josh's bag for school, fed them lunch, got him off to school, got her down for a nap, I sat. I sat and read Elder Holland's article from the September Ensign. I made time for something that REALLY mattered. (It's an amazing article-go back and read it if you didn't get a chance in Sept-like I didn't) There are so many things we HAVE to do in a day that it felt good to do something I didn't have to do but should do. In Sunday School, our teacher mentioned that the Ensign was modern revalation for our time and we should keep it by our bedside with our scriptures to refer to. Especially the conference issue-to keep it there until the next conference 6 months down the road. I'd never really thought about the Ensign that way before. Last November I read the conference issue cover to cover and it was amazing-first time I'd done that. I'm going to do that again when it comes this time. I love to read and I read quite quickly so it's very relaxing to me. It seems like there is always an article that I come across at just the right time to help me with something I've been struggling with-even if I've already glanced through the Ensign before-something new will often stand out.

Then tonight we had Family Home Evening. Which lasted all of 5 minutes due to 2 small kids but we did it. I tend to be super type A in that I have an idea in my head of how things should go and if they aren't living up to that ideal than I just don't do them. Heaven forbid it should be less than perfect. Sheesh. However, I'm really trying to focus on the things that matter so I grabbed the Friend and found an article about temples. We talked about the temple because Joe and I were sealed together for eternity on October 19, 2002-7 years ago today. He didn't remember that but I always do. I hope my children will value the sacredness of the temple as I do. I love the temple and can't wait til we get a temple here in Calgary.

And I slowed down enough to sit here and get my feelings out so I could be a calmer Mommy. Stuck on relaxing music and just typed. I met a lot of my goals today and I think if I can just DO instead of thinking about doing-we can have more days focused on the things that matter in the long run.


Jewels said...

I love that - "Never let a problem to be solved become more important than a person to be loved". Very profound. ... if I had been thinking of that today, then maybe I would have noticed Gabby's BLEEDING hand instead of worrying that there was still glass on the floor (*sob)


You're incredible! You're doing a great job, don't stress too much :) Just enough to get things done! :D

Lynn said...

What a great post! Loved it. It got me thinking for sure.

I truly hope your voice is back now. You looked amazing at the dance. I would have never guessed how stressed out you've been.

Hang in there!

Loved what you said at the end about letting things be "less than perfect". : D


P.S. GREAT picture of you two. Truly!

Alison said...

I love you. Thank you so much for being the friend that sticks it out, no matter how much muck there is to wade through.
Happy Anniversary to you and your lovable husband :)

Mrs. M said...

Good thoughts here. Do you read Flylady? She has really helped me let go of perfectionism and just work on things a little bit at a time. And, as my mom says, I can do anything for 30 seconds. (This is her advice for labor, but it applies to everything.)

Janas Bananas said...

That was a good read, The gospel is always food for thought and I love when I can sit down and relax and read some of it. Life is getting crazy busy, and it just gets busier the older the kids get...not sure how, it just does....But to soak up the good moments is something worth doing over making sure the dishes are done..I still need to learn that lesson!

k said...

thanks Erica - I finally found you on this blog thing! What a fantastic writer you are. Thank you for sharing your thoughts... a year later they are helping me. Sometimes I feel swamped and forget that I am still me. Reading the Ensign is a great idea - actually reading it and not just having it sit in the magazine rack! :} thanks for being my friend and a wonderful mom on Mother's day and every day!!!! ~Karen :)