Time

Hello friends. I'm still here. Just haven't made time to blog. My life overwhelms me to the point that I can't create anything-just try to get by sometimes and that means forming complete (nevermind witty) sentences simply isn't in the cards.
I loved regional conference today. Mostly because I got to go BY MYSELF and sit still in the very same chair for the whole 2 hours. It was bliss. I felt the Spirit stronger than I have in months and I really needed the boost. It reminded me about my purpose in life and that when I'm doing the little daily spiritual things that I don't hit the point where I feel disconnected. I feel like I woke up again. Like things are clearer. Hope it sticks.
It's my mom's birthday today. And Joey's Grandma Quist passed away tonight. (Nevermind what time I blogged this-it's not tomorrow til you've gone to bed no matter what the clock says) Which made me think about how I'll feel when my mom passes away (hopefully way down the road). My mom is one of my best friends. She is larger than life and her life is dedicated to those she loves the most. She spoke at her mother's funeral. I don't know if I could hold it together enough to speak at hers. She is pretty, fun, LOUD, kind, generous, sassy, stylish, and REAL. I am so proud to be her daughter. And tonight I am happy for Grandma because she is back with her sweetheart and not in pain any longer. We should all be so lucky.

Jamie

If at first glance, this name doesn't conjure up thoughts of a firey, tall, broad shouldered hunk of Scottish man from the 1700's then......you haven't read the Outlander series by Diana Gabaldon and are completely missing out on the kind of man you should expect YOUR man to be. LOL. I am in book 3 of the 7 book series and that, my friends, is what occupies my free time lately. Frankly, I'm slightly obsessed and will come up for air again in probably another month or two. See you then Blog stalkers!!
Love, E
P.S. Congrats to real life Jamie on her new baby GIRL!!

How long has it been since you shook YOUR thing?

It's funny-I like to blog and get my feelings out but a lot of what I have been going through is too personal for me to feel comfortable sharing with most of you in Bloggerville so I find I just don't post as often as I could. When I have major stress I know it because I don't want to create anything and that includes coming up with something to blog about. Just trying to get through the days does me in most of the time.
That being said....I took my first Zumba class at the gym yesterday. It's a group fitness dance class that's got some really tribal based music with lots of heavy beats mixed up with Latin music that allows for plenty of hip shaking-think Shakira. I wanted to try something different and figured-why not? It was AWESOME! I haven't felt that ALIVE in a long time! As the mommy of 2 small kids and the wife to someone who often acts like a child (love you hon) I have a lot of "should do's" and "need to do's" on my list every day. This was something I did for purely selfish reasons and it felt great. Just moving my body in ways I never do and letting myself go wild. (I know-odd mental picture for most of you reading this) Sort of felt like the old days except without the next morning reprocussions. I am going to do it EVERY week! And hopefully as an added bonus it will get rid of the excess baby leftover around my waist from Miss Cate. Because it's only been 18 months-too soon to have it ALL as it was pre-kid, right?!?!? (Insert sweet comments from Bloggers about my cute figure that they fortunately don't have to see in the buff)
Speaking of the little demon. Her new nickname after the all out screaming TANTRUM she threw in church Sunday. Literally had to go shut myself in a room somewhere after someone had to shut the chapel doors so she couldn't be heard when we were out in the hall. Sigh. She pulled my hair 3 TIMES. She likes to just throw herself in random directions and ends up smacking her head really hard. You'd think that would stop the insanity but it just seems to fuel her fire. And I was SO PATIENT-I just sat on the floor and waited it out while trying to minimize the damage to both of us. She was just tired and cranky. Of course after that 20 minute episode she was an angel in nursery. Whatever-as long as she gets this all out of her system before she turns into someone else at age 15, I don't care. I'll probably have to use the same technique for managing her at that age....
When I got pregnant with Caitlyn I was training to be a group fitness instructor but I never ended up completing my certification and I really regret it. I see the girls I took my courses with teaching classes now and they're completely incredible and I wish I'd finished my course. As this seems to be a recurring theme in my life that I'd like to stop, I'm really trying to get in shape and complete my training but I find I'm hesitant to do it. Not sure what's stopping me really. I sort of suck at completing things. Great starter, poor finisher. I love to set goal's as my Type A personality craves the structure, but am hard on myself when I don't measure up to my own standards. Any insight or encouragement is appreciated, as always.
I must say a big thank you for those of you out there who post on your blogs regularly. They make me laugh, cry and think about things in ways I haven't before. My challenge to you is to do one thing this week that makes you feel ALIVE like jumping out of your skin, laughing little kid ALIVE.
Hugs from here,
E

Better

For now anyways. Minimal drama for 2 weeks. I have felt the the influence of your prayers and thank you for them. It has made all the difference.
So. New Year. 2010. Feels like I should be making some life-changing monumental goals. Except I'm not. Sometimes just getting though life is monumental enough don't you think? Though after watching the seasom premiere of The Biggest Loser last night-I'd really like to get back to the shape I was in when I got pregnant with Caitlyn. Sigh.
And just for the record especially for those who don't have kids yet. I regret anytime in my life that I had the opportunity to nap or sleep in and neglected to take it. Enough said.
As you were.

Words to Ponder

Launey said I needed to update my blog so here it is. There has been major drama at our house lately. Not drama I would like to share publically but it has knocked the wind out of me enough to mention that I need a little extra prayer said for my family by you out there in bloggerland. I don't watch soap operas because a) they're stupid and unbelieveable and b) I HAVE ENOUGH DRAMA OF MY OWN!! Through it all I have had my AMAZING friends and extended family who have been at my house when I needed them just because I said I did. I feel so lucky to have such wonderful people in my life.
I think we all go through things in our lives to bring us closer to Heavenly Father and evidently he thought I was too far away. I feel such peace in knowing I'm doing what is right for me and my little family but it's still hard to do. They never taught THIS in Young Women's that's for sure. I guess I should have read the fine print on the "going to Earth" document I signed because I don't think I really knew that this is what it would be like. My best friend always tells me "you can do today". And you know what. She's right.
So here are some of the thoughts that have kept me going lately (can't tell you who said all of them as I don't know). Please post some of your own favorites.
Hugs from here, E

To get something you never had, you have to do something you never did. When God takes something from your grasp, He's not punishing you, but merely opening your hands to receive something better.

Evil multiplies by the response it seeks to provoke, and when I return evil for evil, I endanger corruption myself. The chain of evil is broken for good when a pure and living heart absorbs a hurt and forbears to hurt in return. Deep within every child of God, the light of Christ resides, guiding, comforting, and purifying the heart that turns to Him.-Dennis Rasmussen

To wish that you were someone else is to waste the person that you are.

Some lessons in life cannot be taught. They must be lived to be understood.

If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently.

When we look at a statue of someone great, we think they've got something we don't. We are trained to think that only a tiny percetage of us have the stuff it takes to become a hero. Not many of us will cure any diseases or slay any dragons, but every single one of us, EVERY single one of us is called to be a king, a queen, a hero in our ordinary lives. We don't build statues to worship the exceptional life. We build them to remind ourselves what is possible IN OUR OWN.

PLEASE READ THIS!

Noah Biorkman is a 5 year old boy who is in the last stages of neuroblastoma cancer after a 2 1/2 year battle. His family is celebrating Christmas this week and all he wants is Christmas cards. Let's try and see how many we can get to him from all over the world.

His address is :

Noah Biorkman

c/o 99.5 WYCD 2201

Woodward Heights Blvd.

Ferndale, MI

48220-1511

Please repost this to help spread the word about Noah! I chose to as he is the same age as my son and depending on the luck of the draw this could have been us.

Thanks!

Slow down

It's been a whirlwind of a day. There have been many of those since Josh started Kindergarten and I went back to work (only 2 days a week-how can 2 days a week make me stressed?) I feel like I don't stop. I don't stop to eat or I eat standing up, barely stop to sleep. Because who has time for those things? I have a to do list a mile long that never gets done. I'm trying to remember a time when these things didn't matter to me. I cleaned when things got dirty, sat when the house was messy, went out to play without a thought as to how it would affect the next day's schedule. It's not til the kids are in bed that I feel like I can breathe because I only have my energy to deal with-not theirs. Go go go. I just want to SLOW DOWN. Enjoy life. Do the things that matter not waste all my time on the things that don't. Click here .I want to color pictures with Josh and stack blocks with Caitie. Honor those little people in my life because they are the most precious, sweet kids. Balance is always easier to find when I get enough sleep too ;)

So today once I'd thrown in a load of laundry, changed Caitlyn's sheets, fed the kids breakfast, got them both dressed, attempted to clean the kitchen, went to the gym, packed Josh's bag for school, fed them lunch, got him off to school, got her down for a nap, I sat. I sat and read Elder Holland's article from the September Ensign. I made time for something that REALLY mattered. (It's an amazing article-go back and read it if you didn't get a chance in Sept-like I didn't) There are so many things we HAVE to do in a day that it felt good to do something I didn't have to do but should do. In Sunday School, our teacher mentioned that the Ensign was modern revalation for our time and we should keep it by our bedside with our scriptures to refer to. Especially the conference issue-to keep it there until the next conference 6 months down the road. I'd never really thought about the Ensign that way before. Last November I read the conference issue cover to cover and it was amazing-first time I'd done that. I'm going to do that again when it comes this time. I love to read and I read quite quickly so it's very relaxing to me. It seems like there is always an article that I come across at just the right time to help me with something I've been struggling with-even if I've already glanced through the Ensign before-something new will often stand out.


Then tonight we had Family Home Evening. Which lasted all of 5 minutes due to 2 small kids but we did it. I tend to be super type A in that I have an idea in my head of how things should go and if they aren't living up to that ideal than I just don't do them. Heaven forbid it should be less than perfect. Sheesh. However, I'm really trying to focus on the things that matter so I grabbed the Friend and found an article about temples. We talked about the temple because Joe and I were sealed together for eternity on October 19, 2002-7 years ago today. He didn't remember that but I always do. I hope my children will value the sacredness of the temple as I do. I love the temple and can't wait til we get a temple here in Calgary.


And I slowed down enough to sit here and get my feelings out so I could be a calmer Mommy. Stuck on relaxing music and just typed. I met a lot of my goals today and I think if I can just DO instead of thinking about doing-we can have more days focused on the things that matter in the long run.