It's funny-I like to blog and get my feelings out but a lot of what I have been going through is too personal for me to feel comfortable sharing with most of you in Bloggerville so I find I just don't post as often as I could. When I have major stress I know it because I don't want to create anything and that includes coming up with something to blog about. Just trying to get through the days does me in most of the time.
That being said....I took my first Zumba class at the gym yesterday. It's a group fitness dance class that's got some really tribal based music with lots of heavy beats mixed up with Latin music that allows for plenty of hip shaking-think Shakira. I wanted to try something different and figured-why not? It was AWESOME! I haven't felt that ALIVE in a long time! As the mommy of 2 small kids and the wife to someone who often acts like a child (love you hon) I have a lot of "should do's" and "need to do's" on my list every day. This was something I did for purely selfish reasons and it felt great. Just moving my body in ways I never do and letting myself go wild. (I know-odd mental picture for most of you reading this) Sort of felt like the old days except without the next morning reprocussions. I am going to do it EVERY week! And hopefully as an added bonus it will get rid of the excess baby leftover around my waist from Miss Cate. Because it's only been 18 months-too soon to have it ALL as it was pre-kid, right?!?!? (Insert sweet comments from Bloggers about my cute figure that they fortunately don't have to see in the buff)
Speaking of the little demon. Her new nickname after the all out screaming TANTRUM she threw in church Sunday. Literally had to go shut myself in a room somewhere after someone had to shut the chapel doors so she couldn't be heard when we were out in the hall. Sigh. She pulled my hair 3 TIMES. She likes to just throw herself in random directions and ends up smacking her head really hard. You'd think that would stop the insanity but it just seems to fuel her fire. And I was SO PATIENT-I just sat on the floor and waited it out while trying to minimize the damage to both of us. She was just tired and cranky. Of course after that 20 minute episode she was an angel in nursery. Whatever-as long as she gets this all out of her system before she turns into someone else at age 15, I don't care. I'll probably have to use the same technique for managing her at that age....
When I got pregnant with Caitlyn I was training to be a group fitness instructor but I never ended up completing my certification and I really regret it. I see the girls I took my courses with teaching classes now and they're completely incredible and I wish I'd finished my course. As this seems to be a recurring theme in my life that I'd like to stop, I'm really trying to get in shape and complete my training but I find I'm hesitant to do it. Not sure what's stopping me really. I sort of suck at completing things. Great starter, poor finisher. I love to set goal's as my Type A personality craves the structure, but am hard on myself when I don't measure up to my own standards. Any insight or encouragement is appreciated, as always.
I must say a big thank you for those of you out there who post on your blogs regularly. They make me laugh, cry and think about things in ways I haven't before. My challenge to you is to do one thing this week that makes you feel ALIVE like jumping out of your skin, laughing little kid ALIVE.
Hugs from here,
3 days ago