Disconnected

I've been feeling blah lately. Life is a bit monotonous and I just can't get motivated. I open my eyes in the morning and listen to Caitlyn crying (because she always seems to WAKE me up instead of me already being up) and think-great-another day to get through.
And I'm not sure if it's just that this has been a long winter and now they're saying possibly snow flurries on Monday. Really. It's May people.
Or if it's that I'm still nursing but have a plan to get small child off the boob at least throughout the day so I can go back to work in a month and a half. Just have to implement this plan. Hmmm. Advice oh wise bloggers?
Or if it's the fact that I'm going back to work (2 days only 2 days I can do 2 days) in a month and a half and someone else (my MIL) will get to experience my children and take care of their needs when I want to be the one doing it.
Though sometimes I don't.
Or that my hormones are on the rampage from above mentioned small child.
Or that I am well versed in the concept of the run on sentence. Sorry.
SERIOUSLY. NEED. PEACE.
Or possibly just to get out of the house a bit more. Who knows. Not me obviously. But because of all the changes that seem to be looming on the horizon I'm trying not to freak out. Trying to maintain some semblance of order around this crazy house so that even if the inside of me is in turmoil at least my environment can be calming.
I want to feel some sort of passion and excitement for something but don't. Which is why my son's birthday party is going to be LOW KEY. Again. For some reason I freeze when it comes to planning things. Queen procrastinator. I think that's what they'll put on my tombstone. I admire those who have cute kids parties but somehow eliminate myself from that category on purpose. Why can't I just get it together already. ARGH! I'm hoping that venting will help and that someone out there in bloggerland will have some advice for me that helps me get back in the race. Cuz let me tell you people-it's a bit boring sitting on the sidelines.