Hopefully today wasn't a glimpse of things to come. I had basically no sleep last night for the 14th day in a row-no word of a lie-and so Josh spent most of the day in front of the TV except for the 45 minutes I kicked him out to the backyard to get devoured by mosquitos. I was just SO tired-I didn't want to deal with anything. HORRIBLE. He can quote scenes from Ghostbusters by heart. Sigh. This doesn't bode well for when there is a screaming infant around to add to the sleep deprivation. I don't know why my body won't just rest for longer than 1-3 hours. Actually I did get 4 hours in a row last night-from 1:30 to 5:30AM, then I was up til 7 and slept til 9. People keep saying my body is getting ready for the baby-what the heck-I still have 3 weeks to go? Or do I......?
Which brings me to the show I watched tonight. I'm trying to stay up as late as I can to see if it helps the whole sleeping longer thing. There was a show on called Baby Borrowers where teen couples who think they're ready to become parents move into homes for 3 days and watch other people's babies. One person out of the couple has to go to work and the other is home with the kid all day. They have professional nannies watching them in case of emergency but they're not allowed to help and the babies parents can monitor their child on cameras 24/7 and go into the home at any time if they feel it's necessary. HA! It made me realize that I'm a better parent than I thought-despite the mind numbing amount of TV/DVD's Josh watched today. Some of these teens started crumbing in the first 12 hours. Welcome to the real world honey. Yeah babies are cute and cuddly....til they're teething and it's 3 AM and you haven't slept for 2 nights. It made me feel so....SMUG. Though none of them sat the baby in front of the TV all day. Hmmmmmmm. At least I made dinner tonight-he ate well.
I've been off work for almost a month and it's kind of weird to not go to work. This is the longest I've had such minimal responsibility in 11 1/2 years-not having to go in to work yet not had to take care of an infant. I almost feel like I have to justify myself to people when they ask what I have planned for tomorrow and I say "Nothing". Not one thing. Maybe we'll go to the park/paint a picture/organize some more. It's funny how society is so go go go and if you're not you feel like you're not contributing your fair share. Again-I AM 9 months pregnant so I try to give myself a bit of leeway on this one. Plus this is the last time I'll be able to be selfish and do nothing for A LONG TIME. Once you've had one child you realize that life as you know it ends when there's an infant around. Not a bad thing-just a fact. Not something that can be fully explained to someone who doesn't have kids. I sound so negative about the whole infant thing-I'm not-I AM excited. However, I always say I'm an optimist but a realist. So though I'd like to think that this baby will be totally different from my experience with Josh and not scream for hours at a time, sleep through the night at 6 weeks and I'll be able to nurse them in bed I'm not holding my breath.
We'll definately go to the park tomorrow. Thank goodness we're not judged on one day of parenting. :>
Together we can feel unified and directed.
10 hours ago