I tend to rescue. You have a problem-let me help you fix it. Let me listen to everything that's wrong with your life and we'll come up with a game plan. The problem with rescuing is it does nothing really to help the other person grow and figure their problems out on their own. They get to play out the victim role. This is one important lesson I have learned this past year-so now I say things like " How do you plan to deal with that?" and "I know you'll figure out what to do". When I'd SO rather give my two cents. Or ten cents. I'm really good at giving my ten cents-a little too good sometimes. I need to learn how to sugar coat things a bit better. I know this will help me in raising my kids and heaven knows I'll need all the help I can get. I always say to Joe that I'm an optimist but I'm a realist.
And sometimes when you're always the rescuer...it would be nice to be rescued once in a while. Sometimes it would be nice to be taken care of once in a while instead of being the one who takes care of everything. I'm sure no other woman can relate to that ;> Lately I feel like I'm the one keeping all the balls in the air- at work, at home etc. Work is CRAZY lately. I can do things really well if I only have a few things to focus on. Like if I was at home 8 hours of the day instead of at work-my house would be more organized (or so I'd like to believe). But I am and it's not and some days it's enough to drive me batty. I'm into organizing lately. STRUCTURE. I think it's from watching Jon and Kate plus 8-now that lady is organized. And slightly crazy in her type A organization. I'm sort of jealous. I just don't have time to focus on that right now-rather I choose not to. And somehow Grey's Anatomy still gets watched every week so I obviously have my priorities....
The closer I get to my maternity leave ( 1 month!!!!) the more I'm looking forward to it. At least I can stop juggling one of those balls-only to pick up about 3 more when I have a new baby in the house. I do enjoy my job but after 11 years it's time for a career change. I'd like the chance to try being a stay at home mom and all that comes with it. I feel like I'll do anything to be able to stay at home after this 2nd baby comes. Especially when they're little because when they're older they won't care as much-at least they won't admit they care. I miss Josh so much some days and I go in his room at night and just watch him sleep-wondering if we've even spent any time together that day that he'll remember. He's been getting really upset lately when he wakes up and I'm already off at work. I keep telling him that soon mommy will be able to be home every morning and he gets all excited and hugs me tight. That's one thing I love-he's such an affectionate kid. Sometimes I'll be getting ready and he'll say " You look so beautiful!" The other night as I was tucking him into bed he said " I missed you-you're my best friend. I love you sweetheart". Something about your almost 4 year old son calling you sweetheart. Sigh. It makes up for the past hellish Sunday with 2 time outs.
Speaking of Sundays. When I sit there wrestling with my son and counting the minutes until sacrament meeting is done and he's off to Primary I wonder if the women whose husbands are there really appreciate that they're THERE. Even if they're almost as annoying as the kids are, at least they're present and accounted for. One day I would like my husband to be THERE. But it's kind of the same way I wonder if really wealthy people truly appreciate their big houses. I would appreciate a big house. Actually any house that I knew I was paying into and not having to move from in the next year.
Blah blah blah. Next time I won't post at 1 am because I can't sleep. :>
I really needed it.
7 hours ago