LOVE THIS!

I'm reading a book that Alison gave me for Christmas called "Toss the Guilt and Catch the Joy" by Merrilee Boyack. I'm only in Chapter 2 and already LOVE it. Two things really struck me. The first was a quote by Merrill Christensen who was speaking at a devotional at BYU about the truth behind comparisons.

He said " If we are content to simply be better than the world, comparing ourselves to its standards and practices instead of to the Lord's, we may pride ourselves on the widening gap between us and the world....At the same time [we are] dangerously oblivious to the increasing distance between us and the standards of righteousness we have covenanted to keep...
(This is my favorite part) Your value to Him is independent of your body mass index; your accomplishments in arts, academics, or athletics; your possessions, popularity, or marital status; your current calling in the Church; or any other thing that can be a source of comparison and competition. "

She goes on to quote C.S. Lewis a bit further in " Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man....It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition is gone, pride has gone."

Couples Survey

1. What are your middle names? Joseph Aaron and Erica Jayne.
2. How long have you been together? We'll have been married for 8 years on Feb 24th but we've been together for 9. Miracles do happen.
3. Do you have any children together? Yep. Joshua and Caitlyn.
4. What about pets? No. We will get a pet when we a)own our own home and b) one of the kids is old enough to take care of it. However I also said I wouldn't get married til we were out of debt. HAHA.
5. Did you go to the same school? No-if we had we probably wouldn't have gotten married.
6. Are you from the same home town? Yes.
7. Do you live in the same town now? Um yeah, we're married. Oh wait. Yes we do. LOL.
8. Who is the smartest? Yikes. I like to THINK I'm smarter. Does that count? I'm less impulsive...
9. Who is the most sensitive? Him-hands down but he doesn't always show it.
10. Where is the first place you went to eat as a couple? Probably Denny's.
11. Do you wear matching clothes? Always. Or we don't leave the house. LOL. NO. As long as they're clean we're good.
12. Where is the farthest you have traveled as a couple? To hell and back. Oh-on earth. Hmmmm-Hawaii.
13. Who has the craziest exes? I'm sure it's Joe. ;>
14. Who has the worst temper? Joe but I come in a really close second. I'm a door slammer. He's a well-we won't go there in the interest of time.
15. Who does the cooking? I usually do when cooking actually does go on but he SHOULD. He makes way better meals than I do and they always taste amazing.
16. Who's more social? I am with everyone. It's a tie if it's people we both know well. People that don't know Joe think he's quiet. LMBO.
17. Who is the neat freak? Me-Mrs Type A. But I can let things slide a lot when I'm super busy or completely sleep deprived.
18.Who is the most affectionate? We both are. Physical touch is very important-we're cuddlers
19. Who is the most stubborn? He is now. I've mellowed after 9 years and 2 kids. Plus I'm the one answering this survey so I can put what I want. We're both eldest children though if that paints any sort of picture for you.
20. Who wakes up earlier? On average-me.
21.Where was your first date? Dec 26,1999 at the Bournes to watch movies with a majority of his extended family.
22.Who said I love you first? I think it was him but he says me.
23.How did you spend your 1st year anniversary? HAWAII. Which turned into a bit of a mess but was completely worth it because I don't see us getting back there anytime soon.
24. Who has the bigger family? Parents and siblings-me. Extended beyond that-probably a tie
25. Who is younger? Joe by 11 months and he always likes to bug me about it
26. Who is the life of the party? Depends who we're with but we're both pretty expressive
27. Who do you hope your kids turn out more like? I hope they get the best of both of us
28. Who wears the pants in the family? I like to think I do. He'll put his foot down when he feels strongly about something.
29. Whats your favorite thing to do together? We love to read or watch movies together while eating our treats. Which is why our waistlines are expanding :>
30. Do you have the same political views? Pretty much. Neither of us is really passionate about politics. We ARE Canadians....
31. Who has the most stuff? Me, hands down
32. Who controls the remote? We like to watch the same shows but he likes to hold the remote. It's a comfort thing.
33. Who does the driving? We alternate. If it's a road trip he can't relax if I'm at the wheel though.
34. Who takes out the garbage? Supposedly him
35. Who does the cleaning? I do the most but he'll help out if he's told what to do and it doesn't have to be done right that minute
36. Who does the laundry? ME. I love laundry.
37. Who is the funniest? He says he is by far. LOL. I typed it to make him happy. Marriage IS about compromise :>

Just average

So glad January is over. It's my least favorite month. Bad things tend to happen in my life in January. It's just such a gloomy month. When I grow up, I will always vacation in January to avoid the dreary monotony. Though I don't have that travel bug that people talk about. It just has never bitten me. I like to go places but prefer to be home in my own bed in my own house for the most part. I lead an average life. And I'm okay with average. I don't really aspire to much other than leading MY best life, but I'm fine with not being the best AT something. I'll leave that up to the pros out there. However, one thing that I have created in my life that is FAR above average are my amazing children. And to me, that is what matters most.

Grow Up Already

What age is too old to be living with your parents? And not working, eating their food, not doing anything to help around the house and not paying rent? It amazes me that society has created this generation of kids that mooch off their parents and that their parents tolerate it. It drives me ABSOLUTELY bonkers. Wouldn't we all like to be Peter Pan and never grow up and sleep til whenever we felt like getting up and be surrounded by nice things that we didn't have to sacrifice and work our butts off for. My goal as a parent is to raise adults-not have adult children taking advantage of my love for them by contributing nothing to our family or society. It's one thing to have a child come to you if they're in a bad situation and ask if they can move in for a while and set ground rules both sides can live with. It's completely another to have said child assume that they can always crash at their parents home with no regard for other family members and treat them like crap. No accountability. No accountability=no responsibility.
A woman I know has a 17 year old that has dropped out of high school, is completely addicted to drugs and sleeps til whenever she wants. And this woman says to me " What can I do about it?" What the hell do you mean what can you do about it? Don't let her back in! Tell her to get a job and move out. HELLO. My parents booted me out of the house the summer I was 17 and I lived on the streets or crashed with friends and believe me-you quickly realize that maybe living at home and following the rules isn't so bad. I get that there is no quick fix for every situation but more often than not, these kids are being completely enabled by their parents. There's a book called "The Parenting Breakthrough" that I LOVE as it guides you on how to teach children to do things for themselves. Wow. What a concept. Working for things and earning your way in life. How are things in the world going to improve when kids have this sense of entitlement?
And while I'm on this rant. I've been noticing another fabulous trend in the world. Men not being men. Not working to support their families, spending obscene amount of time on the computer and not with their kids, opting out of marriages that aren't convenient enough for them. I could go on and on about this one as well. Ironically, a lot of these men have been raised by really hardworking fathers. Grow up already. Part of being an adult and choosing to have a family is doing things when they don't happen to be convenient for you at that time. That's just life. Whatever happened to the MAN. The one who gets up in the morning and goes to a job he hates because he needs to pay the bills. Who is up through the night with sick kids? Who cherishes his spouse above all others including those in magazines and online? Where are THOSE men? If you have a man like that count yourself lucky. I'm not here to man bash and I get that there are women out there who slack in their roles as well. I just SO appreciate the get it done, motivated, kind, honest, loyal, hardworking man. That's way more attractive to me then good looks and a hard body. So for all you guys out there that are committed to fulfilling the role of a good man to the best of your ability my hat goes off to you. And for those of you out there that aren't, I challenge you to step up to the plate and be a bit better.

To sleep, perchance to dream......

Or just simply to sleep. I miss sleeping. I miss sleeping and waking up ALL ON MY OWN. Not to a crying, hungry baby or a little boy who is trying to crawl into my bed for the third time that night. I am sleep deprived to the point that I left the wrong home phone number on my VTing companion's answering machine. Sigh. I'd be such a great mommy if I could just sleep for longer than 3 hours at a time. And I'd probably care what my hair looks like and how messy my house is.... Launey said today that I needed to update my blog. Frankly all I care about lately is the next time I can lay down and rest for a bit. From the minute I get up I'm looking forward to bedtime. Since this is my life right now-this is what I'm choosing to blog about.
Caitlyn has been moving backwards in her sleeping habits and has been nursing every 3 hrs with the occasional 4 hour stint. What the heck is that all about. Well-she's getting over a cold, often has bright red teething cheeks, has had absolutely NO real schedule to speak of during the past 2 weeks, and is probably on a growth spurt. Any advice on how to get a nursing baby to sleep through the night with all of that thrown into the mix? I'm always playing the what if game in my head when she's crying in her room. What if she's got the blanket over her head? What if she's poopy/wet/starving/too hot/too cold/too tired/not tired enough?????? If only babies could talk this whole situation would be dramatically improved.
She just woke up again and is crying right now. Argh. Passed off to daddy only to have the crying continue. Then I went into our room and Josh is passed out under the covers. Why am I the only one in this family that wants to sleep in my own bed?
Sorry this isn't very entertaining or enlightening but frankly I'm too tired to care about that either. Oh and did I mention that Caitlyn has a piercing scream. Like if the neighbours could hear her I'm sure they'd think I was beating her repeatedly. So I try to let her self soothe in the night only to hear the scream. Which if allowed to contines, wakes everyone up. So I pick her up and nurse her out of self preservation. And the cycle continues.
I think when I'm old I'll move in with her and scream randomly through the night. See-these are the evil mommy thoughts that go through my head when I'm tired. Okay-enough venting. Comment away.

Just a little bit

I feel lately like I'm on the verge of a breakthrough. Not a breakdown. BREAKTHROUGH. I've really been trying to say prayers morning and night and read my scriptures regularly and it seems like the world makes more sense. Or maybe it's just me making more sense... Funny how when you do what you've always been taught will HELP you, it actually works. Maybe there's something to this. :>
I've also been focusing on the topic of unity. Unity in my little family, extended family, ward family, etc. I really enjoyed President Eyring's talk this past conference on unity. Especially the part about not speaking poorly of others. That's something that I haven't been great at in the past. He suggests to look for what is best in people's performance and character and focus on that rather than being critical. If we all tried to do this the world would be such a better place to live. Our world tends to focus on the worst things-the disasters, divorces, and calamaties rather than on the positive aspects of life. If 50% of marriages end in divorce that means that 50% don't.
I remember last year when my skin had really broken out for months on end and I was quite self conscious about it. I was telling my sister-in-law and she said "Nobody cares but you". Not that they don't care about me, but that even if they notice it they're not all of a sudden going to think badly of me. You may notice that 5 pound gain on the scale but no one else does. Or if they do-they just don't care. They really have more going on in their lives than to worry about you. And if they don't-they should ;> So my challenge to those of you in bloggerland is to focus on the positive about people this next week. If someone is speaking negatively-change the subject. You get the picture. UNITY.Then blog about your experiences-either here or on your own blog. It is CHRISTmas after all.
I said to Josh " When you cover up the mas in Christmas then you get Christ because Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ." He says " What about when you cover the t too?" So much for that lesson.
2 thoughts to end:

• Be a little kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
  

• Remember that everyone you know loves something, is afraid of something, and has lost something.

A Caitalyst-if you will

The funny thing about having kids is the relationship you had with your husband before kids is never the same one once little ones enter the picture. It's not worse-just different. Ever since Caitlyn joined our family we have formed a tighter family unit. She was born at the perfect time in our lives. Now, I don't remember the last time I was alone with my husband outside our house but the fact that the man will go to the library with me and the kids speaks volumes to me. And the fact that Joe-yes Joe-will come home from the library with Season 2 of Little House on the Prairie in hand and watch it with me on the couch speaks greater volumes. To others looking in it may seem like we don't have much, but to the girl sitting on the couch with her best friend, it is more than enough. I'd rather have a million little moments that mean so much than a few big ones. Though diamond earrings and a trip to Hawaii to go through the temple would be nice one day too.....;>