Grow Up Already

What age is too old to be living with your parents? And not working, eating their food, not doing anything to help around the house and not paying rent? It amazes me that society has created this generation of kids that mooch off their parents and that their parents tolerate it. It drives me ABSOLUTELY bonkers. Wouldn't we all like to be Peter Pan and never grow up and sleep til whenever we felt like getting up and be surrounded by nice things that we didn't have to sacrifice and work our butts off for. My goal as a parent is to raise adults-not have adult children taking advantage of my love for them by contributing nothing to our family or society. It's one thing to have a child come to you if they're in a bad situation and ask if they can move in for a while and set ground rules both sides can live with. It's completely another to have said child assume that they can always crash at their parents home with no regard for other family members and treat them like crap. No accountability. No accountability=no responsibility.
A woman I know has a 17 year old that has dropped out of high school, is completely addicted to drugs and sleeps til whenever she wants. And this woman says to me " What can I do about it?" What the hell do you mean what can you do about it? Don't let her back in! Tell her to get a job and move out. HELLO. My parents booted me out of the house the summer I was 17 and I lived on the streets or crashed with friends and believe me-you quickly realize that maybe living at home and following the rules isn't so bad. I get that there is no quick fix for every situation but more often than not, these kids are being completely enabled by their parents. There's a book called "The Parenting Breakthrough" that I LOVE as it guides you on how to teach children to do things for themselves. Wow. What a concept. Working for things and earning your way in life. How are things in the world going to improve when kids have this sense of entitlement?
And while I'm on this rant. I've been noticing another fabulous trend in the world. Men not being men. Not working to support their families, spending obscene amount of time on the computer and not with their kids, opting out of marriages that aren't convenient enough for them. I could go on and on about this one as well. Ironically, a lot of these men have been raised by really hardworking fathers. Grow up already. Part of being an adult and choosing to have a family is doing things when they don't happen to be convenient for you at that time. That's just life. Whatever happened to the MAN. The one who gets up in the morning and goes to a job he hates because he needs to pay the bills. Who is up through the night with sick kids? Who cherishes his spouse above all others including those in magazines and online? Where are THOSE men? If you have a man like that count yourself lucky. I'm not here to man bash and I get that there are women out there who slack in their roles as well. I just SO appreciate the get it done, motivated, kind, honest, loyal, hardworking man. That's way more attractive to me then good looks and a hard body. So for all you guys out there that are committed to fulfilling the role of a good man to the best of your ability my hat goes off to you. And for those of you out there that aren't, I challenge you to step up to the plate and be a bit better.

To sleep, perchance to dream......

Or just simply to sleep. I miss sleeping. I miss sleeping and waking up ALL ON MY OWN. Not to a crying, hungry baby or a little boy who is trying to crawl into my bed for the third time that night. I am sleep deprived to the point that I left the wrong home phone number on my VTing companion's answering machine. Sigh. I'd be such a great mommy if I could just sleep for longer than 3 hours at a time. And I'd probably care what my hair looks like and how messy my house is.... Launey said today that I needed to update my blog. Frankly all I care about lately is the next time I can lay down and rest for a bit. From the minute I get up I'm looking forward to bedtime. Since this is my life right now-this is what I'm choosing to blog about.
Caitlyn has been moving backwards in her sleeping habits and has been nursing every 3 hrs with the occasional 4 hour stint. What the heck is that all about. Well-she's getting over a cold, often has bright red teething cheeks, has had absolutely NO real schedule to speak of during the past 2 weeks, and is probably on a growth spurt. Any advice on how to get a nursing baby to sleep through the night with all of that thrown into the mix? I'm always playing the what if game in my head when she's crying in her room. What if she's got the blanket over her head? What if she's poopy/wet/starving/too hot/too cold/too tired/not tired enough?????? If only babies could talk this whole situation would be dramatically improved.
She just woke up again and is crying right now. Argh. Passed off to daddy only to have the crying continue. Then I went into our room and Josh is passed out under the covers. Why am I the only one in this family that wants to sleep in my own bed?
Sorry this isn't very entertaining or enlightening but frankly I'm too tired to care about that either. Oh and did I mention that Caitlyn has a piercing scream. Like if the neighbours could hear her I'm sure they'd think I was beating her repeatedly. So I try to let her self soothe in the night only to hear the scream. Which if allowed to contines, wakes everyone up. So I pick her up and nurse her out of self preservation. And the cycle continues.
I think when I'm old I'll move in with her and scream randomly through the night. See-these are the evil mommy thoughts that go through my head when I'm tired. Okay-enough venting. Comment away.

Just a little bit

I feel lately like I'm on the verge of a breakthrough. Not a breakdown. BREAKTHROUGH. I've really been trying to say prayers morning and night and read my scriptures regularly and it seems like the world makes more sense. Or maybe it's just me making more sense... Funny how when you do what you've always been taught will HELP you, it actually works. Maybe there's something to this. :>
I've also been focusing on the topic of unity. Unity in my little family, extended family, ward family, etc. I really enjoyed President Eyring's talk this past conference on unity. Especially the part about not speaking poorly of others. That's something that I haven't been great at in the past. He suggests to look for what is best in people's performance and character and focus on that rather than being critical. If we all tried to do this the world would be such a better place to live. Our world tends to focus on the worst things-the disasters, divorces, and calamaties rather than on the positive aspects of life. If 50% of marriages end in divorce that means that 50% don't.
I remember last year when my skin had really broken out for months on end and I was quite self conscious about it. I was telling my sister-in-law and she said "Nobody cares but you". Not that they don't care about me, but that even if they notice it they're not all of a sudden going to think badly of me. You may notice that 5 pound gain on the scale but no one else does. Or if they do-they just don't care. They really have more going on in their lives than to worry about you. And if they don't-they should ;> So my challenge to those of you in bloggerland is to focus on the positive about people this next week. If someone is speaking negatively-change the subject. You get the picture. UNITY.Then blog about your experiences-either here or on your own blog. It is CHRISTmas after all.
I said to Josh " When you cover up the mas in Christmas then you get Christ because Christmas is about the birth of Jesus Christ." He says " What about when you cover the t too?" So much for that lesson.
2 thoughts to end:

• Be a little kinder than necessary for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle.
  

• Remember that everyone you know loves something, is afraid of something, and has lost something.

A Caitalyst-if you will

The funny thing about having kids is the relationship you had with your husband before kids is never the same one once little ones enter the picture. It's not worse-just different. Ever since Caitlyn joined our family we have formed a tighter family unit. She was born at the perfect time in our lives. Now, I don't remember the last time I was alone with my husband outside our house but the fact that the man will go to the library with me and the kids speaks volumes to me. And the fact that Joe-yes Joe-will come home from the library with Season 2 of Little House on the Prairie in hand and watch it with me on the couch speaks greater volumes. To others looking in it may seem like we don't have much, but to the girl sitting on the couch with her best friend, it is more than enough. I'd rather have a million little moments that mean so much than a few big ones. Though diamond earrings and a trip to Hawaii to go through the temple would be nice one day too.....;>

Tag!

5 Placed I've Lived

• Heaven
• Provo, UT
• My parents house
• The dungeon ( 3 years!)
• Summerland, B.C. (okay not yet but I will one day)

5 Snacks I love

• Hostess cupcakes
• Pickles and cheese
• Sour skittles
• Fresh fruit
• Cool ranch Doritos

5 Jobs I've Had

• Salesgirl at Below the Belt (Remember Barb?!?)
• Nanny
• Full time Mommy (also my current and favorite one)
• Dental Assistant
• Janitor ( in college)

If I had a million dollars I would.....

• Have as many kids as I physically could and then adopt a couple more-then hire a chef and cleaning lady...
• Take all my best girlfriends on a cruise and give them all a cruise clothing allowance before we went so they could feel their best
• Have a nightly massage before bed
• Have a REALLY COZY soundproof reading room with shelves and shelves of books in the massive mansion of a house I would need for all my kids. With a door that locks.
• Somehow anonymously get envelopes of cash/gift cards to the people in my life I know really need it whether friends, family, or ward members. Someone gave us a $100 Safeway gift card anonymously once when we were first married.

5 things I love

• Being organized
• Josh's imagination
• Caitlyn's chubby cheeks
• Joey's backrubs
• My mom's examples of unconditional love and the power of change

5 people who should do this tag...

• Alison (because you need to get your mind off real life)
• Julie ( because you need to think about something other than Gabby~J/K!)
• Heather (to see if you're as practical as you seem)
• Juliette (ditto above)
• Erin (since we don't write each other letters like we did when we were little girls ;>)

Fulfilled

I know I've mentioned this in blogs before but it's something that is a constant revalation to me in my life since I've been on maternity leave. Things that used to matter to me just don't anymore. Like if my hair is perfectly done or if my butt looks ok in what I'm wearing. I don't know if it's just because I don't have the time with 2 kids or that my attitude truly has shifted over the past 5 months. I have also been debt free and living within my means for the first time since 1996 ( Long time-Shocking-I know!!) This is also adding to the whole fulfillment issue. I don't feel the need to HAVE more but to DO more. I purged my closet of all the things I don't wear and find that I feel the need to take better care of the things that are left. The less I have to clutter my life and my home, the better. Suze Orman was on Oprah and she said Debt=clutter/chaos and Savings=Order/peace or something along those lines. That completely hit the mark in my life. It's like I'm finally getting the lesson I should have been learning all these years. It's GREAT!!!! I find such fulfillment in my role right now as a stay a home wife and mother that I"M NOT SEARCHING FOR IT IN HAVING STUFF. Amazing. Don't get me wrong. Things are great. But not when they're taking the place of the things you really want in life but can't or don't have at the time. I think we live in a world where people constantly do this. I can't spend lots of time with my kids so I'll just buy them a lot of stuff and that will fix my guilt and their neediness. Nope-doesn't work.

I really enjoyed this past General Conference as well. It left me feeling empowered as a woman in my life and home no matter what the situation. It seems like the message of unity in our wards and families was focused strongly on. The ward we are in is AMAZING. Our wonderful bishop has a knack for bringing people together. I really believe that as women, we are the keys to our families lasting in these difficult times and we HAVE to be the glue that sticks our families together. We need to be better than we've been. What worked 10 years ago won't work today as Satan has beefed up his game plan. We have to fortify our homes and be a source of strength and peace for our children. My paternal grandfather passed away recently and it really struck me how committed he was to living the gospel day to day and the righteous legacy he has left to his posterity. This October has really changed my outlook on the world. I think we all need that encouragement from time to time to keep us constantly committing to improving ourselves day to day. I had been stagnant for a long time and now I'm on fire again. It's nice to feel the burn!

Speaking of burning-I'm still trying to do Tiffany's challenge of losing 10 lbs by Christmas and did a full body workout at the gym on Saturday. OUCH. Not Biggest Loser worthy but I did push myself harder than I had lately and it showed in the sore muscles the next day. Funny that I didn't think I was in shape until I wasn't. Isn't that just how it goes. Here's to dropping a few more pounds in November.

Halloween was a blast this year. It was one of my top 10 best days so far for our little family. Joey even dressed up as a vampire as he'd dropped the ball last year for Halloween and was trying hard to make up for it this year. He completely succeeded. (Like he needed to look more intimidating than he already does-there were a few freaked out little kids in the neighborhood.) It's Josh's favorite holiday and he got to dress up as a witch which he's been talking about for months now. I gutted my first pumpkin this year and Joey gave it a scary face which thrilled Josh. Caitlyn was blissfully ignorant of the whole proceedings which will not be the case next year. That Halloween candy lying around isn't helping mommy here with the weight loss. Do any of you mom's out there NOT eat your kids candy? And how do you avoid the temptation???? Do tell.

Thanks to all you who share in our triumphs and defeats and constantly support us along the way. We could navigate our way without you...but it wouldn't be the same. :>

3rd time's a charm or 3 strikes you're out?

My 3 Joys

• My family


• The gospel


• Good books

My 3 Fears

• Having to go back to work outside the home because I have to not because I want to


• Not making it to the celestial kingdom with my husband


• Sharks ( I had to get away from all the serious stuff!) We watched all the Jaws movies growing up and even when I jump into the deep end of the pool I get freaked out

My 3 Current Obsessions

• What Not To Wear-Seriously. Cracks. Me. Up. Though some days if they captured me on a secret video I would look worse then their candidates.


• Finding things to stick in my Magic Bullet


• Trying to get more than 4 hours of sleep at a time

My 3 Surprising Facts

• I LOVE to do laundry. I am the QUEEN of laundry(I need to be the queen of something.) Not enough to come to your house and do your dirty clothes so don't ask


• I want to retire in an old cottage by a lake with chipped dishes and comfy quilts and an endless supply of books. Not sure where my husband factors in to this whole scenario.


• I love to be near oceans and lakes-they calm me. Why I live in Calgary I don't know.