Disconnected

I've been feeling blah lately. Life is a bit monotonous and I just can't get motivated. I open my eyes in the morning and listen to Caitlyn crying (because she always seems to WAKE me up instead of me already being up) and think-great-another day to get through.
And I'm not sure if it's just that this has been a long winter and now they're saying possibly snow flurries on Monday. Really. It's May people.
Or if it's that I'm still nursing but have a plan to get small child off the boob at least throughout the day so I can go back to work in a month and a half. Just have to implement this plan. Hmmm. Advice oh wise bloggers?
Or if it's the fact that I'm going back to work (2 days only 2 days I can do 2 days) in a month and a half and someone else (my MIL) will get to experience my children and take care of their needs when I want to be the one doing it.
Though sometimes I don't.
Or that my hormones are on the rampage from above mentioned small child.
Or that I am well versed in the concept of the run on sentence. Sorry.
SERIOUSLY. NEED. PEACE.
Or possibly just to get out of the house a bit more. Who knows. Not me obviously. But because of all the changes that seem to be looming on the horizon I'm trying not to freak out. Trying to maintain some semblance of order around this crazy house so that even if the inside of me is in turmoil at least my environment can be calming.
I want to feel some sort of passion and excitement for something but don't. Which is why my son's birthday party is going to be LOW KEY. Again. For some reason I freeze when it comes to planning things. Queen procrastinator. I think that's what they'll put on my tombstone. I admire those who have cute kids parties but somehow eliminate myself from that category on purpose. Why can't I just get it together already. ARGH! I'm hoping that venting will help and that someone out there in bloggerland will have some advice for me that helps me get back in the race. Cuz let me tell you people-it's a bit boring sitting on the sidelines.

Countdown

Hello fabulous people. I know you're thrilled to hear from me ;> I was talking about my maternity leave ending the other day and counted the weeks left. 7 to go. Only 7. That's okay-I can handle it. I just sort of thought that day would never come. It was always far in the future. I'm a bit excited and I'm only going back 2 days a week soooo it will be fine. I'm one of those freaky people who are more productive the more they have to do so hooray for that. Less of a cheer for having to wake up to an alarm again. Blech. Hooray for scheduled lunch breaks and witty comments from Launey (which I HAVE missed)!

I read other people's blogs and wish I were as clever as them but I'm just me. It's not like I'm forcing you to read the details of my mostly mundane life, right? I had a great Mother's Day weekend. Lots of family which I love. It was the first Mother's Day I could say I have a daughter. I love that little girl.

Joe and I took the kids to the zoo on Monday and we all had a great time. Finally the weather was nice enough to actually be able to enjoy being outside.

Koala Caitlyn

Koala Josh

Here's to making the most of these last few weeks.

Wedding Memories

1) What was your wedding date? February 24, 2001
2) How long from "I will" to "I Do" 5 months-I think. I can't remember if we got engaged in Sept or Oct.
3) Where were you married? The Institute (Not for crazy people-that came later ;> )
4) What were your wedding colours? Periwinkle and Silver
5) Who was in your wedding party? I had 2 close friends (that ironically I don't speak to now)and Joe had Mike Bourne and Rob O'Bray
6) Honestly, could your bridesmaids REALLY have worn the dress again? No
7) Did you LOVE your gown? Would you choose the same gown again? I LOVED my gown but would probably pick something different if I got married today. I still like the basic style but would go with something more elegant.
8) Flowers: Real or Silk? Real-my mom picked them out and they were gorgeous.
9) Reception: Full meal or Calling reception? Full meal after the ceremony and calling reception later that night
10) Dance or no dance? I think some dancing occured but we split fairly quickly afterwards
11) What would you have done differently? The wedding we had worked for us at the time but I would have preferred to have gotten married in the temple. Something a bit simpler maybe.
12) Any disasters? I didn't book enough time for hair and makeup before the ceremony started and there was a blizzard so we ended up starting about a half hour late.
13) Best Gift you received? Cash. I'm not the most sentimental person. My grandparents gave us a vaccum. Honestly-I can't remember anything that stands out especially.
14) Strangest gift you received? No comment
15) Most Memorable moment that day? My father in law giving me a hug after the ceremony and getting all teary. Those who know my husband well will know why. Also my dad leaning in the car window as we were about to drive off to our hotel that evening and telling Joe to take care of his little girl. Aww. I AM his only daughter.
Now feel free to post pictures for any or ALL of the questions, but post your favorite picture from your wedding at least!I don't care if you are married, separated, divorced, whatever! Join in!
Just to add a bit more-The older I get the more I realize how much I took for granted with how smoothly my wedding day went and all that was involved. I have to say a special public thank you to my mother who spent SO much time planning and shopping for my wedding while my family had just gone through a house fire November of 2000 and were in a rental home. She made it a beautiful day with every last detail just right for me. Thanks Mom. You're amazing and I love you.

I got nothing!

Which is why it's been so long since my last post. Nothing new here. Kids getting bigger and louder. Spring may finally have shown its face for good. General Conference was great~loved Elder Holland's talk especially.

I've been working out miminum 3 times a week for the past 6 weeks and haven't lost a single pound. Darn baby weight. I have some really cute summer clothes that I'd like to wear-mostly because I have zero money to go buy more clothes. Sort of hoping that when I stop nursing this last 10 pounds will just fall off. Weight will do that right? Just sort of....disappear? Though I am definately feeling more toned. I'm slightly freaky in that I love to workout. Which is a good thing because I love to eat too. SIL has signed us up for a 10K in Sept. I've never run any race and would love any advice from bloggerland. Hopefully that will help with the weight loss too. Runners seem to have great bodies. And bad knees.....yikes. Already got those.

I find when women have kids it generally takes them a year to get back to caring about how they look. Since having Caitlyn, I have gone out in public looking the worst I've looked my whole life and generally not caring. Because really. No one notices. The checkout girl could care less if my hair is done or if I have makeup on. And when you're running on 2 hours of sleep, vanity is the last thing on your mind. But I'm starting to come out of my mommy stupor and want to look semi presentable again. Hence the working out and wanting to get my hair cut into some sort of style again. Not just throwing it in a ponytail.

Have felt shocked by some recent news. Sad news. I hate news that hits you in the gut and makes your world tilt on its axis for a while. Keeps you humble and keeps you wanting to do better I guess. I had a cousin pass away 3 years ago this July who was very young and I think of her often and how I can't waste my life because you just never know when life as you know it will change forever. I've been enjoying my basically drama free time for these past few months. Here's to hoping that will continue.

Some pics of the kiddies from March-they loved the zoo!

LOVE THIS!

I'm reading a book that Alison gave me for Christmas called "Toss the Guilt and Catch the Joy" by Merrilee Boyack. I'm only in Chapter 2 and already LOVE it. Two things really struck me. The first was a quote by Merrill Christensen who was speaking at a devotional at BYU about the truth behind comparisons.

He said " If we are content to simply be better than the world, comparing ourselves to its standards and practices instead of to the Lord's, we may pride ourselves on the widening gap between us and the world....At the same time [we are] dangerously oblivious to the increasing distance between us and the standards of righteousness we have covenanted to keep...
(This is my favorite part) Your value to Him is independent of your body mass index; your accomplishments in arts, academics, or athletics; your possessions, popularity, or marital status; your current calling in the Church; or any other thing that can be a source of comparison and competition. "

She goes on to quote C.S. Lewis a bit further in " Pride gets no pleasure out of having something, only out of having more of it than the next man....It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. Once the element of competition is gone, pride has gone."

Couples Survey

1. What are your middle names? Joseph Aaron and Erica Jayne.
2. How long have you been together? We'll have been married for 8 years on Feb 24th but we've been together for 9. Miracles do happen.
3. Do you have any children together? Yep. Joshua and Caitlyn.
4. What about pets? No. We will get a pet when we a)own our own home and b) one of the kids is old enough to take care of it. However I also said I wouldn't get married til we were out of debt. HAHA.
5. Did you go to the same school? No-if we had we probably wouldn't have gotten married.
6. Are you from the same home town? Yes.
7. Do you live in the same town now? Um yeah, we're married. Oh wait. Yes we do. LOL.
8. Who is the smartest? Yikes. I like to THINK I'm smarter. Does that count? I'm less impulsive...
9. Who is the most sensitive? Him-hands down but he doesn't always show it.
10. Where is the first place you went to eat as a couple? Probably Denny's.
11. Do you wear matching clothes? Always. Or we don't leave the house. LOL. NO. As long as they're clean we're good.
12. Where is the farthest you have traveled as a couple? To hell and back. Oh-on earth. Hmmmm-Hawaii.
13. Who has the craziest exes? I'm sure it's Joe. ;>
14. Who has the worst temper? Joe but I come in a really close second. I'm a door slammer. He's a well-we won't go there in the interest of time.
15. Who does the cooking? I usually do when cooking actually does go on but he SHOULD. He makes way better meals than I do and they always taste amazing.
16. Who's more social? I am with everyone. It's a tie if it's people we both know well. People that don't know Joe think he's quiet. LMBO.
17. Who is the neat freak? Me-Mrs Type A. But I can let things slide a lot when I'm super busy or completely sleep deprived.
18.Who is the most affectionate? We both are. Physical touch is very important-we're cuddlers
19. Who is the most stubborn? He is now. I've mellowed after 9 years and 2 kids. Plus I'm the one answering this survey so I can put what I want. We're both eldest children though if that paints any sort of picture for you.
20. Who wakes up earlier? On average-me.
21.Where was your first date? Dec 26,1999 at the Bournes to watch movies with a majority of his extended family.
22.Who said I love you first? I think it was him but he says me.
23.How did you spend your 1st year anniversary? HAWAII. Which turned into a bit of a mess but was completely worth it because I don't see us getting back there anytime soon.
24. Who has the bigger family? Parents and siblings-me. Extended beyond that-probably a tie
25. Who is younger? Joe by 11 months and he always likes to bug me about it
26. Who is the life of the party? Depends who we're with but we're both pretty expressive
27. Who do you hope your kids turn out more like? I hope they get the best of both of us
28. Who wears the pants in the family? I like to think I do. He'll put his foot down when he feels strongly about something.
29. Whats your favorite thing to do together? We love to read or watch movies together while eating our treats. Which is why our waistlines are expanding :>
30. Do you have the same political views? Pretty much. Neither of us is really passionate about politics. We ARE Canadians....
31. Who has the most stuff? Me, hands down
32. Who controls the remote? We like to watch the same shows but he likes to hold the remote. It's a comfort thing.
33. Who does the driving? We alternate. If it's a road trip he can't relax if I'm at the wheel though.
34. Who takes out the garbage? Supposedly him
35. Who does the cleaning? I do the most but he'll help out if he's told what to do and it doesn't have to be done right that minute
36. Who does the laundry? ME. I love laundry.
37. Who is the funniest? He says he is by far. LOL. I typed it to make him happy. Marriage IS about compromise :>

Just average

So glad January is over. It's my least favorite month. Bad things tend to happen in my life in January. It's just such a gloomy month. When I grow up, I will always vacation in January to avoid the dreary monotony. Though I don't have that travel bug that people talk about. It just has never bitten me. I like to go places but prefer to be home in my own bed in my own house for the most part. I lead an average life. And I'm okay with average. I don't really aspire to much other than leading MY best life, but I'm fine with not being the best AT something. I'll leave that up to the pros out there. However, one thing that I have created in my life that is FAR above average are my amazing children. And to me, that is what matters most.